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<HTML>March 2, 1999 HarpoAce: Good evening everyone! Welcome to a very special and rare event on Oprah Online. We're honored to be hosting a live event with one of Oprah's closest friends, Maria Shriver. She's here to talk about her first children's book, "What's Heaven?" and her high-profile life as an award-winning journalist, wife and mom. Please help me welcome Maria Shriver! MShrivr: Hello. I'm thrilled to be here on my good friend's online program. And thank you for the questions. HarpoAce: Hi NRK0118, thanks for coming tonight, you've got the first question for Maria Shriver, Question: I understand you wrote this book in order to answer the questions your own kids asked about death. What was their reaction to the book? MShrivr: My kids loved the book, and they're very proud of it. My daughter said that she really hoped that it would help kids. I've gotten a lot of great reactions. What's been most interesting to me, is how people find themselves opening the book, reading a few pages, and finding themselves thinking about their own losses and members of their own family. That's the best news of all...is that the book is opening up dialog between parents and kids and opening up the hearts and memories of a lot of grownups. That's something that I hadn't even anticipated, and it's just beautiful. HarpoAce: Nailspro, you're up! Question: I am a stay-at-home mother of 2, and find it hard sometimes to keep focused on anything but the kids. How do you do it all and still find time to write a great book! MShrivr: Well, thank you. First of all I don't do it all, that's the first myth. I'm sure that she probably does a lot more than myself. But one thing I've learned after having four kids, to try and really take it one day at a time. I try to give as much as I possibly can to my kids. And then, if there are things that I find interesting, like writing this book, and I take the time do it, and I explain to my kids why I'm taking that time away from them...it's because I feel it's important and I hope it will help other children. But something that I would say to you, being a stay-at-home mom is much tougher than writing a book and MUCH tougher than being on television. I hope you credit yourself for the work you're doing. HarpoAce: Hey ELMONT GLS, thanks for coming tonight! Here's your question for Maria Shriver. Question: Is Arnold a good father? MShrivr: Arnold is an awesome dad. He's stricter than I am, but what I think he does very well, is that he is a very playful dad. He's a very hands-on dad and a very committed dad. He helps with homework. He takes the kids to school. He goes to soccer practice when he can, and I always feel that he's doing the best that he can do as a dad, which is pretty great as far as I'm concerned. HarpoAce: Hi SGmev, here's your question for Maria Shriver, Question: Which family member inspired you the most? MShrivr: My mother. My mother...her work creating the Special Olympics...changing the way the world sees mentally retarded people has greatly inspired me. Her marriage inspires me. And her mothering is an example that I try to emulate. HarpoAce: Thanks for coming Katturner2, here's your question for Maria, Question: Should children know that death isn't just sleeping? I used Mufasa in The Lion King to introduce the concept to my daughter, who was two at the time. She was too young to fear it, which I felt was healthier than trying to pretend he would wake up. MShrivr: I think that's a really good point, and I, too, confronted death through The Lion King. And I try to work with the songs from The Lion King ... the Circle of Life, which I think is a concept that kids can understand. I also think the more open we are with our kids about this subject, without scaring them, is really important. You'd be surprised about how many questions they already have about the subject. And just starting the conversation, and listening to what they already think and want to know is a great service to them. HarpoAce: Hi Pink Cade, here you go! Question: Maria, how do you keep yourself together with work and trying to raise a family plus keep up with your husband? MShrivr: It's tough. I don't have an answer, or a magic formula. I try to really take it a day at a time. And, to be honest, I think my kids get the majority of my time. My husband gets whatever is left over. And one of my New Year's resolutions is to try to find some time for me. HarpoAce: Hi CYNTHALANE, thanks for coming tonight! Ask awayà Question: What prompted you to write this book? MShrivr: My grandmother's death prompted me. These questions came from my kids upon her death. Their questions covered everything from: Where did she go? How did she get there? How do "you" feel about it? What's a funeral? Can she breath in the box? What did she wear in the box? And is she scared to be in the ground? I wrote the book because the kids asked these questions, and what was amazing to me was how they came up with a lot of their own answers. Answers that seemed to make sense to them and give them a certain amount of peace. So I eavesdropped on their conversations, and I wrote down their questions and answers, and the result is this book. HarpoAce: Welcome Sara 365, you've got the next question with Maria Shriver, Question: How do you think that this book will help children to better understand death and the whole idea of going to Heaven? MShrivr: Well I hope that it will answer some questions that I think they may already have. I hope that it will make the subject less scary for them. I hope it will make them comfortable enough with the subject to talk to their parents about it. And I hope it will take a little of the mystery away. But I want to be very clear, if a child experiences the loss of a parent or a sibling, this book is not enough. And, that there are, what I've now discovered, wonderful support groups to help children talk about their feelings. HarpoAce: Welcome Armco54, ask away... Question: Being married to a famous person and coming from a famous family, how do you teach your children to be grounded individuals? MShrivr: That's my biggest concern, and it's something that I work on daily. I try to explain to them that the best way to achieve things is through hard work, or by having a great idea or trying to change the world in some positive way. And I work hard in trying to make their lives normal, as normal as I can. HarpoAce: Hi Cb in ct! Here's your question for Maria Shriver, author of "What's Heaven?" Question: What is your greatest perk in life? What do you enjoy most in your life? MShrivr: LOL...good question. My greatest perk is being able to work part-time. I've been really lucky that way, I think, to be able to work in a job that I really love, and get paid really well for it and still have the freedom to be with my kids 90% of the time. Question: How long have you and Oprah been friends, and how did you meet? MShrivr: We've been friends for 21 years and we met at the local station in Baltimore, where we both worked. We lived in the same apartment complex there. HarpoAce: DMuench494, here you go! Question: Have you ever considered running for a political office, or has Arnold ever thought of running, even though you are from 2 different parties? Would you each support the other? MShrivr: Yes, yes, and yes! Question: Can a child have a concept of not existing? MShrivr: I think kids get the concept that you're not here anymore. My kids first grasped that when our dog died. They realize very quickly that the dog's death meant they weren't here anymore, but they still talk about the dog. And when they do I point out that the dog still lives on in their memories. HarpoAce: Hi Newsnut4, here you go! Question: How do you feel when people ask rude or inappropriate questions about your family? (Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you one!) MShrivr: It depends on what question it is. Over my lifetime, pretty much any rude or inappropriate question has been asked of me. I try to practice forgiveness, but that doesn't mean that I haven't often been hurt by that. Question: Being one of the most notable interviewers around, if you were interviewing Monica Lewinsky, what would you ask her? MShrivr: Good question! MShrivr: I'd ask her what's the most important thing she learned about herself this past year. Question: Now that you've added author to your list of accomplishments, do you plan to write any more books? MShrivr: Glad you asked. I'm in the process of writing a book called "Ten Things I Wished Someone Told Me When I Graduated College." I gave a speech last year of this title and got lots of requests to expand it, and so I'm in the process of doing so. Question: On the show, you mentioned Oprah had no food in the house! LOL Are you going to stock Oprah's frig before your next visit? MShrivr: LOL. Good idea, I would stock it with Cookies and Cream Ice Cream, sugar wafers, white chocolate cake, french fries, and everything else that she would not allow! Talk about heaven... LOL HarpoAce: Unfortunately that's all the time we have! MShrivr: I want to thank everybody for their wonderful questions. I was honored to be on the show today and I guess I'll go on Thursday, and I'm honored to have Oprah as my friend and to get to meet some of her friends through this online chat. HarpoAce: Thanks for coming everyone! Bye Maria! If you missed any part of tonight's event, go to keyword: Oprah tomorrow to get the transcript! Have a great night everyone! Good night. :-) OnlineHost: Copyright 1999 America Online, Inc. </HTML>